I’ve actually had someone tell me this recently. They used one of my previous posts about anxiety as a way to figuratively spit in my face. “Get over it.” Seriously – one of the few things that piss me off the most are these three simple yet totally hurtful words.
Yes, they are hurtful and come from a very naïve state of mind. If you have ever thought those words, please – I beg of you please never tell them to a friend or relative who deals with mental health challenges.For someone dealing w/ #mentalhealth, there aren't always physical signs Click To Tweet
Why is it naïve to say this?
Mental health issues like depression, PTSD, bipolar, or anxiety each deal with it in different ways. What is the same for one isn’t the same for all. The mind works in interesting ways. Yes, we all have similar symptoms, but how we handle them isn’t the same.
Would you say just get over it to someone going through Cancer, Lupus, or ALS? No – because those are physical states that happen to a person’s body. Telling them just to “get over it” won’t help them at all. They need medical care, dietary changes, and a complete network of support.
Travis for one doesn’t always know when I’m going through a panic attack because most of the time they are symptomless. Most of the time I don’t even know that I’m going through them until it’s almost over.
Only on the really bad attacks does he notice. I’m constantly fidgeting – a nervous tick that I picked up during my days with self-infliction. I’m crying or sometimes I’m simply staring off into space. My eye contact is anywhere but at the person. Or the worse is when I’m in flight mode and I want to leave.
My whole body is on edge and every muscle is itching to move towards the nearest exit. Sometimes pacing is needed so just to expel the extra energy and adrenaline that my heart is pumping at that moment.
It shows that you don’t understand me nor do you want to. I’ve heard so many people say that what happened to me has happened a long time ago – get over it…
Just because you – yourself can handle, process and get rid of something doesn’t mean that I have to or even can for that matter. Last time I checked I was a different person.
Granted most people who say these types of things don’t deal with a mental disorder. They don’t know what the weight of depression feels like. They simply get sad and then become “happy or normal” again.
They don’t know the frantic mind racing around as they deal with anxiety. They have a moment of anxious but it passes. It doesn’t consume their every thought at night. It doesn’t keep them lying awake every single night or feel like their heart might beat right out of their chest.
To really know is to actually have a mental illness
As much as I would love for other people to understand me – they only can fully fathom it when they have it. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
I wouldn’t wish the countless nights crying myself. To have to wish away the pain of depression looming over every good day… or even the complete numbness that one can feel with it.
I couldn’t wish this on anyone else…
So, when you tell me to “just get over it” – how about you don’t.
How about you offer me your ear to listen to when I need it. Have a hand out to hold onto me when I’m about to cry. Or even accept the fact that I’ve canceled plans again because my anxiety is overwhelming.You can't tell someone dealing w/ #mentalillness to just get over it already. Here's why... Click To Tweet