Things I've learned from my Father
Family
Things I’ve learned from my Father

I know that I might not always understand my Father – well, to be honest, I don’t think I ever allowed myself to understand him growing up.  Okay, let’s be honest as a kid you really are a brat.  No matter how good you were – you still will be a brat.  Doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong, just that you need to grow up and learn to become an adult to see how truly amazing someone can be.

My Father and I didn’t see eye to eye a lot when I was growing up.  I was okay to handle as a child, but once I hit my teenage years – phew – LOOK OUT!

Yes, I was bitchy, emotional, all over the place and defiant.  (I know this now.)

My Father dealt with a lot.  Losing my mother giving birth to me, countless divorces and up and down swings of his own depression.

Once I was grown

I should say once I left my Father’s care we started to understand each other more.  Perhaps it’s the lack of constantly being in each other’s faces, but whatever the reason was – we simply started to talk more.  We both made mistakes and slowly over time we started to come to know each other for who we were now.

One thing that I started to understand was how strong my Father was.

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Things I’ve learned from my Father: He never passed up an opportunity for love

After my mother died you would think that he would shut down.  He never did.  He moved on and learned to love again and again.

Though he went through two other wives (and countless other women) – until he found B – he never quit at love.

He went through painful divorces that ranged from cheating to financially breaking him.  Not once did he believe that he wasn’t going to find love again.

He would get his heart broken or stomped on.  He’d get himself back up and put himself back out there into the dating game.

He never let the fear of a loss keep him down for a moment.  He was always sure that there was someone else out there for him – just like my mother was to him before.

Things I’ve learned from my Father:  Always have faith

I can’t even come close to understand this one.  Faith hasn’t been something that’s been inside me all the time.  I’m still unsure when it comes to faith, but this man never faltered.

He has been tested.  He has lost jobs, had countless heartaches (heck – I’m sure that I’ve caused a few gray hairs on that head of his) among many other things, but he has always stayed true to his beliefs.

This past year was hard for my family.  My Father lost his brother (my wonderful Uncle) and has even gone above and beyond and took on another role as caregiver to my Grandpa.

No matter what, my Father has stood strong and believed his faith would see him through.

I believe for me – my faith is in him.

Things I've learned from my Father

Things I’ve learned from my Father: Always have fun

I have so many stories about my Father.  Stories that always make me smile and laugh – sometimes laugh until I cry.

He’s been silly enough to buy goggles from the kid’s department and seriously thought that they were adult size.  He was mistaken.

My Father once shaved his beard clean off when I was little and scared me.  I refused to talk to him until he grew it back.

He even joked around a few times trying to teach me how to get a job.  He made this big story about getting a job is like a funnel.  You apply for 10 positions but only get 3 interviews and out of those interviews only get one job.  You know – a funnel.  Well, the best part was when he told me that he lost his job and I just looked at him without missing a beat and said: “You see – it’s like a funnel” – I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh so much.

Things I’ve learned from my Father: It was okay to cry

Perhaps in his older age, he has been more sentimental.  Or perhaps he has always been a big softy – I just never knew it.

We’ve talked a lot and sometimes yes – there were tears.

He’d get a card or a message from someone and he would tear up…

My best memory was him reading 60 memories from family and friends for his 60th birthday.  He read them all out of order and chuckled at each and every one.  He laughed at the funnel story that I just HAD to tell and cried at a few other personal stories that others enjoyed with him.

No matter what – he never was afraid to cry.

Things I’ve learned from my father: He will always be this kickass Father

We may not always see eye to eye.  But I know that he will always mean well.  He’s my Father – and that’s pretty special.

He has laughed at the time I made him spill chocolate milk while hitting a curb.  Granted at the time it wasn’t as funny as it is looking back.  Oops?

Overall he’s a pretty cool dad – I guess that most people would think that, but to me, he’s pretty kickass.

What are some things that you’ve learned while growing up?  It could be a parent or grown up, or could simply be things you learned along the ways.

My Father has taught me a lot of things growing up. Here are a few. Click To Tweet
Monthly Challenges
February Intentions 2017

I really enjoyed the “intentions” from Angela (Clutter Box Blog) so I decided to keep it going.  Currently, the intentions link up is postponed, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t come back.  I really like definition of intention: Noun

  1. a thing intended; an aim or plan.

“she was full of good intentions”

To be honest – intentions just sounds better.  But I’m a bit odd so who knows.  Well, with all that talking let’s start with what I had planned for January.

Hello, February! How are you doing this year? Are you ready to get your butt kicked? Click To Tweet

For the blog January:

  • Organize and sort photo prop items – make a list of what to buy – I really worked hard at this. Found out what props that I want as well as going about buying them from different places.  Perhaps a post will follow soon?
  • Take at least 2 pictures for posts with own cameraSo far every single picture from this year has been shot by me. I’m still working out the kinks of my camera and actually planning on buying a newer DSLR soon.  Wish me luck.
  • Work on Instagram feedI can say that I have put forth some effort into my Instagram account. I’m working on placing bright colours in my feed with white space.  Something not original but it is a start towards aesthetically pleasing in my eyes.
  • Continue to use Buffer for social mediaOkay so I did a decent amount on buffer – but I deleted my paid account and currently searching for somewhere else. I find that it’s too much for me and I’m only working on Twitter so paying $10 for only Twitter is kind of crazy.

For personal January:

  • Clean and organize the spare bedroom (again)Okay, so I sorta did this. I mean – I cleaned then a lot of crap got placed back in there.  Oops?  I figure it would be better placed on the to do list further in the year (like summer) when I’m off and have the time.
  • Keep kitchen clutter free and dishes cleanedTotally did this for the most part. I think I had a few days in between that I didn’t really keep up with, but nothing too much.  Travis had to help me a few times only because we had a mouse problem and I was overwhelmed with all the dishes that needed to be rewashed because of it.
  • Continue to keep on top of household choresKind of failed and kind of worked on it. Most of the laundry got done, but they lay in the hampers for over two days.  Floors were Swiftered sometimes, but not every week like they should be.  Perhaps more since we have a dog… who knows?
  • 2 dates this month with Travis Totally nailed this! We had a few dates out with friends throughout the month.  I even had a surprise dinner guest which was pretty cool since he was attempting to figure out who was joining us.  I love surprising him every so often.
  • Doing yoga at least 5 times this month Failed.  FAILED.  I didn’t even do it once this month.  Sigh.  I really shouldn’t place these on my list, but I have hoped.  No reason why – I just felt lazy and didn’t want to work out this month.  No other excuse.

Highs

I am really proud about the push forward I have towards my blog.  I’ve been posting more, scheduling more tweets ahead and even gaining a bit in my Instagram account.  I used to teeter on just 330 now I’ve jumped up to around 400.  I love Instagram, and I’m slowly trying to work my creativity into it.  I’m pushing myself to be there more.  So I’m seeing progress.

I’m also enjoying the freedom I have with using my own pictures.  It’s pushing me to expand my knowledge of this field and test different tricks.  I cannot wait to see how much I’ve progressed in a year’s time.

I have also progressed in my health by rejoining Weight Watchers.  I have some bad days – but I’m logging everything I’m eating and trying to even it out in the end.  So far I’ve lost around 12 pounds ( which is a start from the 40 that I want to lose from now until the end of this year).

Lows

I’ve been off and on sick for a better part of two months.  Near the middle of the month, I even had 2 days (again) off work because of my migraines.  I’m really starting to get annoyed with my body.  Trav and I have a new doctor so I will be asking about what else I can do for them – besides simple vitamins.

I really liked that I added one more inspiration to my month goal – having 4 to work with seems a lot better than 3.  It gives me something to strive to as well as something to challenge myself without too much anxiety.  Let’s see what I have planned for February…

February Intentions 2017

February Intentions 2017

For the blog:

  • Continue taking photos with camera – explore a new lens
  • Buy a tripod for camera and research what new camera to buy
  • Post at least 3 times per week on Instagram
  • Share posts with other places besides Facebook and Twitter
  • Extra: Get to 5k followers on Twitter – Currently at 3,331  which means I only need 1,669 more to go.  It is a stretch, but I want to see how close I can get to it.

For Personal:

  • No pop at all this month
  • Organize bedroom and create a wish list for room
  • Have 4 dates with Travis. Plan one in secret (mix it up with alone and with friends)
  • Meal prep for a whole week
  • Extra: Do not order out once this month

 

I have set one extra goal because I really want to challenge myself.  I know that it is something extra in the shortest month of the year, but I have faith that I can do it.

Month two - Go! Let's get those #monthlyintentions started. How are you doing? Click To Tweet

What are your intentions for February?

Turning bad days into a success
Mental Health
Turning bad days into a success

Today, I would like to introduce you to Miranda.  She has taken over the blog and shared something on my blog that is rather personal.  Her words show us what it feels like when you have a bad day – the pain & struggle it is simply to allow yourself to do self-care.
Miranda, like myself, is an advocate for mental health awareness.  You can find more about her on her FaceBook page – here.

She talks about…

Turning bad days into a success

I’m struggling today. Really struggling. My body aches and I’m beyond exhausted. Standing up and moving seems overwhelming. I haven’t gotten up in a few hours, telling myself this is self-care. And on some level it is.

However, more so than self-care, this is more self-protection. I’m allowing my negative thoughts to protect me from failure, from life, from putting myself in a position to hurt, to become overwhelmed, to perhaps even feel worse.

I’ve cocooned myself in the safest, coziest place

– my bed. I’m protected all right. Protected from taking responsibility for my chronic condition. Protected from getting up and doing those things that will make me feel marginally better, and more connected to others.

I could be calling or texting friends. Could be going for a walk, doing yoga or stretching my poor tight limbs. I could be eating healthier foods, drinking lots of water, or comforting myself with unsweetened herbal tea. All of these things would ease the pain and isolation of having a chronic illness. All of these would help. And all of these require acceptance of my symptoms.

On my good days, these are all easy to do. I tell myself this in a very critical way. They’re no-brainers on the good days. But this is not a good day. This is a hard day. This is a day where my mind likes to tell me my body has betrayed me, that I will never feel good again, and that I’m doomed to a debilitating future. With thoughts like this, no wonder I’m staying in bed, doing little to improve my condition.

No wonder it’s so hard for me to get up and help myself.

With this mindset, staying in bed makes the most sense. However, this “self-protective” mindset is not realistic. I know I will be feeling better, and that it will happen faster if I get myself out of bed.

I know with some self-compassion I can let myself off the hook emotionally, making it easier to be willing to take risks. And I know one other thing, something that makes the biggest difference in getting me up and trying. On good days self-care is good. It helps practice for on harder days and it boosts my already good energy and health.

On bad days, self-care is important & powerful. These are the times it's most valuable... Click To Tweet

On the bad days, however, self-care is important and POWERFUL. These are the times it is most valuable, the times it means the most. The smallest act on the hardest day means more than anything I can do on my good days.

My mind might disagree right now, and my outlook may be pessimistic. But it doesn’t make the statement any less true. Acts of self-care today make more of a difference for my wellbeing.

Turning bad days into a success

As long as I’m trying, as long as I make some small effort, I can still be a success.

So with that in mind, I move my aching limbs, stand on shaky legs and start to slowly stretch. If I can keep going and do some yoga – BONUS!

If not, I’ve gotten out of bed, I’ve stretched a bit. No matter what I manage to accomplish, this is a bad day. And on bad days, even the smallest effort is a success.

Namaste.

 

Be well – and remember even the littlest of things in self-care well help.  What do you do for self-care?